Emotional Intelligence? Please Explain!

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

I’ve been hearing a lot about Emotional Intelligence and it caught my attention. It didn’t seem like these two words fit together. Emotional comes from the heart; Intelligence comes from the head. So how did they end up in one phrase?

I started to research it and I found it quite fascinating. Everything I read defined EQ (Emotional Intelligence) as being able to understand your own emotions and how they affect the people around you. This in turn helps us all to manage our relationships more effectively. How cool is that? I sure have a few relationships that could use some managing, so I continued my research.

It turns out that EQ is becoming more and more popular in the workplace. It is helping managers better understand their team and what motivates them. It is also showing us all how to develop better work/life balance. It’s pretty powerful stuff.

Then I came across this flowchart that actually helps you perceive, manage and understand your own emotions. I actually found it fun to follow the various lines and arrows, reading the different answers and seeing where I fit in. That’s why I’d like to share it with you: Flowchart.

Take a moment to check it out and see how you can enhance your relationships with others, and more importantly, with yourself.

 

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Navigating the Detours in Life

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

I am constantly lost. Directions have always been a challenge for me. I can’t tell north from south, east from west, and if I tell you to turn left, that’s your cue to turn right. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my new best friend, Alice – my navigation system. No matter how long I have lived in one place, or how many times I have taken the same route, I still get confused.

People always make fun of me because I never know where I am or how I got there. I used to beat myself up over my lack of direction, but over the years I have learned to enjoy the detours along the way, both on the road and in life.

When I was 21, I had my whole life mapped out. Did it turn out the way I planned? NO! But by enjoying the twists and turns along the way, I have found treasures I never imagined possible.

As some wise person once said (no, it wasn’t me but I wish it was):

“A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.”

So, you see, detours can be good – and lacking a sense of direction can be a real adventure. It’s like watching a movie for the first time, not knowing how it will end.

 

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How Do You Prepare for Unexpected Loses?

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Take one step at a time. Clear one hurdle at a time. If you get ahead of yourself, you run the risk of getting cocky. I saw it happen in the Super Bowl game last Sunday. At one point the San Francisco 49ers thought they had won the game. Between plays, they even sat together on the field as though they were posing for their photo as the Super Bowl champions. Well, we all know how that turned out.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all been in that moment when we thought we won the trophy, landed the sale, or got the promotion. Then suddenly someone else’s name was called. Totally shocked, we end up thinking: “what just happened here?”

So, how do we prepare for that? How do we stay in the moment and focus on the goal that is right in front of us? One of my tricks is to picture a bullseye. There, right in the center, I can actually visualize what I want – what I am striving for. Everything else goes away and I can only see the center of that bullseye. That way, it doesn’t matter if someone else is winning or getting ahead of me. My laser focus causes me to remain steady.

Does this work every single time? I think you already know the answer to that. But on those occasions when it doesn’t work, it keeps me from getting cocky, from being blindsided, and to keep moving forward, no matter how much my surroundings may change. Think of it as the game of life, and on those days when things don’t go as planned, you can always drop back 10 yards and punt.

 

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The Adventures of Retirement

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

Retirement. What does that word mean to you?

From the time we enter our very first career, we are consumed with it. We start to save for retirement, plan for retirement and dream of the day when we reach retirement. I hear so many people say: “I can’t wait until I retire.” And my response is always the same: “WHY?”

My take is that people who look forward to retiring have something in their life they want to do more. They either want to read more or work in the garden more or spend more time with their grandchildren. They want more time to do all the things they can’t do now because of their current job. And for them, retirement is welcomed.

But what about those folks who are forced into retirement. For some reason their current career has come to an end and they’re just not ready for the next phase of their life. What does retirement mean to them?

This happened to me at the age of 63 when I suddenly found out that I had lost my job. I was stunned and confused and scared. Then, for some unknown reason, I decided to try Toastmasters. Just about everyone I talked to said it was a great organization, and since I had the time, I thought: Why not? That was the stepping stone that lead me to my current career as a Professional Speaker. Who knew? It certainly wasn’t something I would have tried if I was still working in my previous job.

So, to those of you who are forced into retirement, I encourage you to see it as a whole new adventure; a whole new beginning. This is your opportunity to explore a new world and try something that brings a smile to your face. It could be cooking or traveling or knitting. Possibly take some classes on the topics that interest you, talk to the people who work in the industry that intrigues you, take that leap of faith and risk trying something new.

Start with baby steps and see where it will lead you. You are about to go on the adventure of your life.

 

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If Fear Were Not an Option

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Have you ever been asked the question: “What would you dare to do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” Have you ever thought about what your answer would be?

Recently, a friend asked me this very same question. I had to think long and hard and I’m still not sure if I know the answer. Where would I be today if I wasn’t afraid of rejection or that feeling of not being good enough. Would my business be more successful? Would I have more friends?? Would I have taken more risks???

What would you do if fear wasn’t an option for you? I recently read an article that said the one thing that most people regret at the end of their life was not taking chances. I hope this is not one of my regrets. So, to make sure that doesn’t happen, I’m going to keep asking myself that question: “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail.” In fact, I’m going to write it at the top of my whiteboard right now so I can see it every day. Who knows what new doors it may open – for both you and for me.

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Repairing Cracks with Gold

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

Have you heard of kintsugi? It’s also called the “golden repair.” It’s the Japanese art of repairing pottery that has been broken into pieces. They actually use a lacquer and powdered gold to reconstruct the piece, putting the emphasis on the crack and the repair. The result is a renewed, reimagined and beautiful piece of artwork.

What a concept!

I couldn’t help but wonder: what if we applied this to real life? Think about it. All those scars and wrinkles and broken pieces we have accumulated over the years. Instead of thinking of them as damages, what about seeing them though the eyes of kintsugi – displaying them with pride and sharing the lessons we have learned along the way. Think about repairing them with gold to show the world just how valuable our broken pieces are.

As we move forward into the New Year, turn your regrets into repairs filled with gold. Put emphasis on what has been broken, repaired and reinvented. Celebrate all those challenges you have survived.

 

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Celebrating This Moment in Time

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

It’s the beginning of a New Year; the beginning of a new decade. What will you do to make your mark on the next ten years?

WOW – that’s a very daunting thought! Very, very overwhelming!! So, in order to relieve the pressure of setting more goals, I’ve decided to look at this New Year a little differently. I’ve decided to stop, take a deep breath, turn around and see how far I have come. I’ve decided to take time to celebrate all the people and events and moments that I have experienced in the last year and give myself a pat on the back for all that I have accomplished.

I have come to realize that finding happiness is different for each of us. It doesn’t always mean reaching a goal or accomplishing something bigger and better. It doesn’t always mean being richer or thinner or smarter. Sometimes it’s just taking time to enjoy what you have right in front of you. Sometimes it’s saying: I’m happy where I am in this moment in time, no excuses and no explanations.

So that is my New Year wish for you: that you find your joy, embrace it, celebrate it and be happy for who you are. And if you find yourself in a place that is challenging, find that one thing – only one – that brings a smile to your face, if only for a minute or two, and celebrate that. Find your joy, whatever it may be, and celebrate it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

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One Wish for All

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

Wherever this day may find you, whatever your beliefs may be, I wish you lots of smiles and laughter and love and hope for a future that is yet to be revealed. May the twists and turns of life take you down a path where you will find someone to reach out a helping hand. And once you have found a place where you can take a breath and enjoy the scenery along the way, may you reach out your own hand and help someone else who may have lost their way.

Here’s to the magic and peace of every day.

 

 

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Share Your Magic

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

I really love this time of year!

It may sound hokey, but it’s true. I think it’s because there are so many things that happen only during this season: holiday songs, plays, concerts, parades, and decorations everywhere you look. The list goes on and on.

Once December is over, PUFF, it’s all gone. Packed away and not touched again for another year.

I can still remember when I was a little girl, my father and I would watch the original movie: Miracle on 34th Street – every single year – just the two of us. It was a time to feel loved and safe and peaceful. It was a time to laugh and cry all at once. Now when I watch this movie by myself, it’s almost like my father is sitting there right beside me, sharing his love and the magic all over again.

Yes, that’s a good word for it: magic. During this season I can be a child once again. To believe in the magic that surrounds us – all of us. It’s a time to reach out to others and sincerely wish them happiness, to smile from your heart, to believe in kindness.

I know it sounds sappy, but I can’t help it. At this time of year, I look around at all the twinkling lights and the beautiful decorations, and I do believe. I believe in the goodness and joyfulness that surrounds us every day. Sometimes we have to look for it a little harder, but it’s always there. The holidays just make it easier to find.

I sincerely wish you a magical holiday season. No matter what your beliefs are, we can all use a little more magic in our lives. When you find yours, don’t forget to share it with others.

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Yes, I Said It: Try Something New

Professional Speaker-Positive Attitude-Personal Development

The holiday season is upon us in full blast!

Cooking! Decorating!! Shopping!!! You barely have time to catch your breath. So, what I’m about to tell you may not make any sense…

Find some time this holiday season to try something new!

Yes, that’s right. I’m challenging you to STOP, take a breath, don’t worry about everything and everyone else, and find some time for a little fun. Carve out a few minutes to enjoy a little laughter.

Every year I promise myself that I will try one new thing at the holidays. This year, I’m going to see the lights at my local zoo. I’ve gathered up a few friends, checked the weather, and off we go.

If you are not sure what’s going on in your area, contact the almighty Google and find festivities that are close to you. It doesn’t have to cost any money. There could be a tree lighting ceremony, a shopping mall that is all lit up for the holidays, or just taking a drive in your neighborhood and see all the houses that are decorated. Sometimes, it’s the things that are in our own back yard that we take for granted and never stop to actually enjoy them.

The point is to take a “time out” from all the holiday craziness and find something that makes your heart smile. And please, share your experience with us. We just may be able to add a few new things to our own list for next year’s season.

 

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