When Your Life Has Been Turned Upside Down

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

Facing challenges is a part of everyone’s life. Some small, and others, not so small. How do you survive them? How do you let go when all you want is your old life back?

Well, a couple of years ago, I was interviewed by Dick Goldberg, a respected radio and television talk show host, for his podcast titled Overcoming Adversity. I was honored to share the 30-minute interview with Neil Mathweg, CEO of Realty Executives in Madison, WI. Why were Neil and I interviewed together? Because we had very similar stories. We both lost everything in the 2008 recession – and survived.  Although we took different paths, the outcome was the same. We both faced a deep darkness in our life and came out on the other side, reinvented and better than ever.

Along the way, we learned lessons about life and values and relationships and self-esteem. It’s very hard to talk about those dark days and the embarrassment we both felt.  So why do we do it?  Because both Neil and I want to help others who are going through challenges in their own life. We want to reach out and hope that something we say will make their recovery time shorter and their climb out of the darkness a little easier.

If you have just 30 minutes, please listen to our interview.  You will discover very helpful tips, either for yourself or a friend, that will help you overcome adversity, no matter where life may find you: http://www.dickgoldbergradio.com/overcoming-adversity/.

 

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Fake It Until…

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

You’ve all heard the term: “Fake it ‘til you make it.”

But the phrase that has really struck a chord with me is:

“Fake it ‘til you become it. “

The first time I heard this revised version was by Amy Cuddy on her TED talk. It reminded me of all the times I was afraid to try something new; of all the times I told myself: “NO, you just can’t do that. You’re not young enough or strong enough or good enough!” How many times have I set limits on my own possibilities and my own dreams!

A great example of this is my blog. 208 weeks ago I posted my first blog and I had no idea what I was doing. I’m so thankful that I have great friends who helped me set up the technology side of it.  Then I had to figure out the rest on my own. Did I fake it – YES. Did I eventually become it – ABSOLUTELY! It was a great accomplishment and a huge boost to my confidence.

Fear can be such a debilitating force and it can stop us from moving forward. Yet fear is normal. It’s part of the process. Our goal is not to get rid of fear but to walk through it and see who we become in the process.

So, the next time you feel challenged or fearful or begin to doubt your confidence, repeat to yourself.

Fake it ‘til I BECOME it.

BTW – this is the photo of me posting my first blog. Can’t you just feel the fear and astonishment?

 

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What’s Your Why

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

What’s your why? The first time I heard this question I was sitting in the audience. The presenter asked this question, then lit up the screen with a picture of his three-year-old son. He proudly stated: “That’s my why. That’s why I get up every morning and do what I do.”

Since that time this question has haunted me. I really wanted to understand my why; to understand why I have such an obsession and love for being in front of an audience and delivering inspirational speeches.

Personally, my answer isn’t so obvious. I don’t have children and no other answer immediately popped into my mind. So, I’ve searched for my answer for years and finally, I figured it out.

It’s really not the speaking that’s my why and certainly not the rush of adrenaline I get just before going on stage. Rather, it’s about helping people who are going through challenging times right now. I guess you could call it a type of Paying it Forward.

For those of you who don’t already know my story, the 2008 recession wiped me out. By 2010, I had lost my business, my savings and my home. The only thing – THE ONLY THING – that got me through that difficult time were my friends. They grabbed me by the hand and led me through the darkness, refusing to let go.

If I can do that for someone else through my speeches, if I can relieve their pain even if for a second or two, then I have found my why. I have found my reason for doing what I do.

It’s a hard question to ask, and my sincere hope is that you find your why and live your purpose. Remember, we don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.

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When Life Gives You Lemons, Make a Limone Martini

Professional Speaker-Personal Development-Positive Attitude

Losing your job sucks. It’s scary and overwhelming and devastating all at the same time. What do you do when this happens to you? How do you handle this setback while keeping your dignity intact?

Breathe!

That’s the first step. Just stop and take a deep breath. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you will survive this. Take a break and let your mind and body absorb what just happened. This is a loss and it needs to be acknowledged.

Then get out a pen and paper. Start making a list of all the people you can reach out to for help; all kinds of help. Let’s see – there’s insurance to be evaluated, budgets to be adjusted, unemployment lines to stand in, and above all, finding a new job.

After you make your list, prioritize everything on it. Stay focused and think about this as a giant puzzle. Slowly but surely, as the pieces begin to fit together, you will begin to see a new picture. You begin to pull yourself out of the darkness and see a lit path that will lead you to your next adventure.

The way I see it is that there aren’t any failures – only opportunities to find a different way to reach your goal. As you work on the puzzle for your new life, turn it around, look at it upside down, and see if you can find a different window or a hidden door that you missed before. Discover the possibilities that you overlooked the first time. What else lies out there for you? Try to keep an open mind – and in the end, if you allow it, your life will be brighter than ever.

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